Windows open.

Birds singing.

Sun casting shadows.

+ a little girl’s laughter as she chases after the pup.

I am blessed by these small, seemingly insignificant moments.

Honesty? Here it goes.

I struggled as a mom in those newborn days.  

The minutes sometimes felt like days themselves, and I felt guilty for not feeling happy + full of “motherhood-bliss” every moment of the day.

Don’t get me wrong: my love for Harlow continued to grow each day.  It still does.  But in my perfectionism, I felt imperfect when I wasn’t happy being a mom 24/7.  I got frustrated.  I would sometimes get bored.  In my mind, I had somehow convinced myself that everything would change when I began my new career of motherhood.

More honesty?

Ludicrous. 

lu·di·crous/

Adjective:
So foolish, unreasonable, or out of place as to be amusing.
Synonyms:
ridiculous – laughable – absurd – funny – comical

Yes.  It is completely absurd + comical to think that I wouldn’t have moments of doubt in my ability as a mother.  I had made a huge career change.  + while I didn’t miss waking up at 3:30am on a Monday morning to catch a flight, Harlow wasn’t so great at telling me what a great [or not so great] job I was doing as a mom.

One more dose of honesty for you this morning.

I needed a shift of focus. 

I had lost focus of the One who gives me identity.  The One who truly makes me whole.  The One who fills my life with joy: not insignificant + fleeting happiness.

I needed to find my true identity again. 

Life has a way of distracting us from the important.  + bad habits form oh-so-much-easier than good habits, right?  If donuts gave you six-pack abs? We’d all be completely ripped! But that’s just not how it is.

It’s easier to browse facebook on my iPhone than it sometimes is to sit down + read a book.

It’s easier to turn on the tv then sit in the silence.

Sometimes it’s easier to skip past the small moments happening now, searching for the greener grass in moments to come.

But in constantly looking to the moments ahead for happiness, we miss the lasting joy found in the now moments.

I’ve committed to slowing.  I’ve committed to grace for myself + those around me.

I’ve committed to thanking Him for the moments, but giving myself grace when I sometimes miss them.

 

What moments are you thankful for today?

 

love,

 

 

 

 

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