The lights are still glimmering on both of our trees.
They’re even in the same room, kinda.
See, I bought our mini tree last year when I was a total scrooge. We were celebrating Christmas in our little apartment, amongst boxes packed for our move. We’d had plans of celebrating Harlow’s first Christmas in our new home.
I’d kind of like to have a do-over.
A do over to make the most of it, to see the positive–a chance to quit wading around in the junk, and I want to rejoice in the blessings.
Today was a day that was full.
I kept writing “full of …”– but I can’t really describe what it was full of
It was full of laughter with Harlow.
She has this new thing she does where she smiles funny as she tries to blink over and over again.
Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be realizing for the first time? that you can intentionally move those lids that cover your eyes?
I love her joy. I love her spark.
It was a day full of my-little-girl-is-18-months tomorrow.
It was a day where I’m stil moving slow–recovery from sickness and motherhood don’t mix.
Sickness and motherhood don’t mix.
[Thank you all for your sweet texts and tweets and messages– I am feeling better slowly.]
It was a day where I let my mess inside rear its ugly head–and I didn’t stop it.
It’s a day when so many times, I just think:
A do over. Please? Can I?
It was a day when my sighs were extra loud.
A day when I struggle with grace–for others and myself.
I look my to-do list and the boxes unchecked: it’s a day when I struggle to find the grace to give myself.
I know there aren’t days that are perfect, and I know that there never will be.
And today, as I’m thinking through it all, I know that it is this type of day that makes me stop and want to change for tomorrow.
I think this is what “His mercies are new” really means.
We get them. They are real. And it’s days like today that remind me I need them.