do-overs and grace

by kacia on 28 Nov ’12 · 8 comments

It’s late.

The lights are still glimmering on both of our trees.
They’re even in the same room, kinda.

See, I bought our mini tree last year when I was a total scrooge.  We were celebrating Christmas in our little apartment, amongst boxes packed for our move.  We’d had plans of celebrating Harlow’s first Christmas in our new home.

I’d kind of like to have a do-over.

A do over to make the most of it, to see the positive–a chance to quit wading around in the junk, and I want to rejoice in the blessings.

Today was a day that was full.
I kept writing “full of …”– but I can’t really describe what it was full of

just full.

It was full of laughter with Harlow.

She has this new thing she does where she smiles funny as she tries to blink over and over again.
Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be realizing for the first time? that you can intentionally move those lids that cover your eyes? 

I love her joy.  I love her spark.

It was a day full of my-little-girl-is-18-months tomorrow.

It was a day where I’m stil moving slow–recovery from sickness and motherhood don’t mix.
Sickness and motherhood don’t mix.
[Thank you all for your sweet texts and tweets and messages-- I am feeling better slowly.]

It was a day where I let my mess inside rear its ugly head–and I didn’t stop it.

It’s a day when so many times, I just think:

 A do over.  Please?  Can I?

It was a day when my sighs were extra loud.

A day when I struggle with grace–for others and myself.

I look my to-do list and the boxes unchecked: it’s a day when I struggle to find the grace to give myself.

I know there aren’t days that are perfect, and I know that there never will be.

And today, as I’m thinking through it all, I know that it is this type of day that makes me stop and want to change for tomorrow.

I think this is what “His mercies are new” really means.

Grace.

Do-overs.

We get them.  They are real.  And it’s days like today that remind me I need them.

xoxo

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Alyssa Smith November 28, 2012 at 8:01 am

amen.

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kacia November 29, 2012 at 11:02 am

xoxo Alyssa. :)

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annie November 28, 2012 at 1:53 pm

PRAISE GOD FOR DO OVERS! We had this day on Friday. But praise God we woke up Saturday to a brand new day! I hope today is good for you!

His mercies ARE new every morning!

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Alysa (InspiredRD) November 28, 2012 at 2:10 pm

His mercies are new each morning. PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!

Reply

britt November 28, 2012 at 2:14 pm

love this! it’s on these days that i feel like nobody else is going through this, everyone else is stronger than me, and handles life with more grace than me. i know that’s not true but reading this surely helps, just knowing i’m not alone.
i had this kind of day on monday. for me, it’s this stage of motherhood. i’m really having a tough time seeing my sweet baby boy turn into this two-year-old boy who constantly looks for trouble. i’ve been super sad about it and for some reason, i’m taking it personally. each day, i wake up thankful for a do-over. a new day with more grace, strength, wisdom, and love. thanks for the encouragement :)

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mandie November 28, 2012 at 7:25 pm

oh, girl- I’ve been trying not to feel sorry for myself the last few days and don’t really know how to escape it other than not feeling at all, mostly- just trying to get through each day. Thank the lord he loves us even then, when we choose not to have a blessed attitude despite our many blessings.

Thank you for sharing this friend…

Reply

Jessica Heights November 28, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Yes! Thank God for grace and do-overs! :D

Reply

Somebody's Parents November 29, 2012 at 3:26 am

Such a beautiful post! Love it!

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