learning to love

by kacia on 14 Feb ’13 · 9 comments

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“love your neighbor as yourself.”

A phrase memorized early on.  A sentence engraved and recited.

Love others.  Treat them how you would like to be treated.  Respect them as you respect yourself.

But I pose the question: how do you love others when you’re struggling to love yourself?

This winter has been difficult for me–I’ve shared a bit, and I’ll tell morebut there have been days I’ve struggled to love.
I felt as if I was running out–clearly it has to run dry eventually, right?

I pour myself into my daughter and husband–
all the while frustrated with myself for not having it all together–
this image of the perfect wife, mom and woman I try and try to be.

And in that frustration, I realize I’m not loving the ones I love most very well,
because I’m not loving me.
I’m not allowing myself to be loved–by anyone.

It’s easy to smile.
To carry on.
To hold your head up.

And at the end of the day, I realize how selfish I’ve been.  How inwardly focused I’ve been, idly watching as walls form up around my heart.  All the while I hear His voice telling me I am worth it.  I am beautiful.

I am worthy of love.

When I believe the truth, the lies begin to silence.
When I let love in, it only has one way to go: outside of myself.

That’s the way love is shared–it’s multiplied.  It’s a growing, living, beautiful, and contagious thing.  It doesn’t run out, it doesn’t give up, and it doesn’t grow tired.

and it is patient as we learn.

share the love 2013

I am so blessed the gorgeous ladies teaming up for Share the Love asked me to join them over these past 2 weeks.  I wasn’t as obviously involved as I wanted to be, but I pray what I’ve learned somehow encourages you.  It’s because of this effort to look for ways to love others that made me realize how much I was blocking love out.

We did get the chance to Share Love with others over the past 14 days.

From buying coffees for a group of homeless down our street, to sending off some random gifts to friends, to spending intentional time with neighbors, and being kind to strangers, we worked on loving intentionally–and we have no plans of stopping anytime soon.

I am so thankful love is patient, because I am one tough student.

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on Harlow // shirt | Old Navy // pants | Old Navy {similar} // shoes | RileyRoos {similar}

 
 

be sure to check out the lovelies linking up today for Share the Love!  I can’t wait to see what you’ve learned and how you’ve loved.

xo.
kaciasignature



{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather || Heather's Dish February 14, 2013 at 10:52 am

Harlow looks so cool in her Batman T – per the usual ;) And you ARE beautiful and oh-so-loved sweet friend!

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kacia February 14, 2013 at 2:03 pm

Thank you for always being such a beautiful encouragement!!!

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annie February 14, 2013 at 11:39 am

Wasn’t it wonderful to see how doing something small really does go a long way.

You are a beautiful soul, inside and out! I’m certain even though you have your doubts, your husband and daughter feel the same! Thank God for GRACE!

Happy Valentines!

xoxoxo

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kacia February 14, 2013 at 2:04 pm

Absolutely! Yes!!! Headed over to read about your last two weeks, Annie!! Happy love day!!

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Kristian Bishop February 14, 2013 at 12:46 pm

What a blessing to learn how to love and to be loved! We never deserve love, but are definitely blessed with is! His grace is sufficient for me! Glad to be a part of this Share the Love with you!

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kacia February 14, 2013 at 2:04 pm

Amen and amen! Xoxo!

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Emily R-C February 14, 2013 at 3:06 pm

I believe it was Miss Manners that said, when someone offers you an unexpected gift- one that you feel is too big to accept- it’s impolie to demur more than once. It’s fine to say, no, no, really, thank you but I can’t take that! One time. Then it’s considered rude, and the best thing to do is show kindness to that person by accepting their generosity. Sometimes I have to apply that to other things as well- like letting others take care of me- because I struggle to accept other people’s love sometimes, too. It sounds like you’re on the right track, now, so keep at it :)

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kacia February 14, 2013 at 10:20 pm

oh my goodness – I LOVE THIS EMILY! Andy and I both struggle with receiving – but he’s like the multiple “I can’t take that” guy – and I keep reminding him that it’s a gift to the giver, to receive.

Man! I love this. going on my wall.

xoxo

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Sara February 14, 2013 at 11:57 pm

Bam! I felt the bullseye smack me right between the eyes. Everything you wrote… about being inwardly focused, trying to keep everything together for my husband and child, not allowing myself to be loved, putting the walls up and struggling to realize that I am worthy of love…all felt like you were writing about me.
I have been thinking as we enter Lent about ways to offer more love to my husband, but I now realize that I’m missing it. I need to let more love into myself and watch it be multiplied. Receiving the love, owning my identity as dearly beloved, is an ongoing struggle. It’s not going to all happen overnight, I know. But love is patient…

Thank you for your words. I’ll keep coming back to it.

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