just a quick post.  so much excitement in the Hosmer family over the past few days.

Andy + I have known since before we were expecting Harlow that we wanted to adopt.  We knew that it would require a lot of saving [which, we've been doing], a lot of signing our names, a lot of research, a lot of learning + a lot of everything in between.

As we began taking steps towards making this desire that is so strong in both of our hearts a reality, we were discouraged.  Discouraged as we didn’t feel completely right about each agency we looked into.  Discouraged as there was no willingness to work with our budget.  Discouraged as it seemed to feel….

impossible.

But then a friend from college sent me a little message.  She + her husband had been experiencing the same frustrations as Andy + I.  But they’ve found an agency that made me excited again.  I felt encouraged.  Our run-on sentences + poor grammar were astounding…but it showed our excitement as we frantically messaged back and forth.  Sharing what we’d learned, telling each other about resources + future dreams.

It was so refreshing.   

I had texted Andy throughout the day, telling him bits + pieces of what I’d been learning …. + he came home antsy to hear more about it.

Seeing his passion for adoption makes me fall head over heals for him more + more, every time we talk about it.  When he pursues more freelance jobs, so we can adopt debt-free, my smile doesn’t even begin to capture just how much I love him.

Seriously? I married such an amazing man.

So.  Not a whole lot to tell, but I just had to share this tiny, teensy, baby step.  One step closer to fulfilling one mission that God has put on our hearts.

It finally seems possible.

We will be documenting all our steps toward adoption here.

Join us?

Oh! + before I forget…. one more announcement that I’ve hinted at before.

Coconut Robot.  I’ve already been putting all profits from my [ridiculously small] business in our adoption fund, but it’ll be more “official,” soon.  Each order will come with a card explaining our dreams + how you are helping change lives.  We are restructuring our prices + ordering system.  So thank you for being patient!

We are getting there.  One crazy day at a time!

xoxo,

it’s been a crazy few weeks here in the Hosmer home.  well, when is that not the case?  I’ve already decided that our next move will be to the country: so I can have my chickens + a fainting goat.

Yes.  a fainting goat.  Google it.

In big news….

TEETH!

Yes, Harlow’s bottom two teeth have made an appearance!

this momma got pretty sick last week, + we found ourselves camped out at the ER twice in 3 days…. needless to say: we were all a bit tired!

we’ve been reading a lot lately!

Harlow especially loves animal books: she pets every single animal she sees.

 I think they remind her of Wyler :o]

Harlow was dedicated on Sunday! We were so blessed to be surrounded by our families [we missed you, Nate, Brianne + Karen!] and so many dear friends!

We had some fun play dates with some mommy friends.  Harlow rocked her jeggings: duh.

Harlow thought her Valentines tasted pretty good!

+ this girl got a card from Andy that included arts and crafts.  AND ROBOTS! + it was accompanied by sushi for the win.

My husband is awesome.

We’ve been rocking some really awkward sleeping positions…. please, tell me how that is comfortable??

We’re still pottying almost full time on the toilet.  Yes, I’ve just posted about poo.  We’ve been having some dry diaper days, which are fun for both Harlow + I!  I definitely will do an Elimination Communication post soon.

[Disclaimer: Harlow is not smarter, healthier, cooler, hipper than any other baby.  This momma is not super mom, + she is definitely not better or cooler or hipper.  I just read a book, decided to give it a whirl... + Harlow just caught on quickly.  capiche? capiche.]

It seems absolutely surreal…but our house is slowly becoming a home!  The end is in sight + now I’m starting to get anxious about packing + moving!

I got hooked on Downton Abbey.  [Thanks to my dear friend, Rachael.]  I’m sort of obsessed. It brings out my love for Anne of Green Gables + all of my favorite things to watch as a little girl!

We enjoyed the Science Center with some of my favorites …. + Harlow’s crush, Jude.  Here she is trying to show him that she’s cool enough to play with the big kid toys.  I seriously melt when I see how sweet Jude is with her, + how she just stares at him!  I’m saving for her dowry.  ;o]

And that’s been our life over the past few weeks! Crazy as always, but fun as ever!

Have a great weekend.  Choose to show grace today, eh?

February 13, 1998.

It happened to be Friday the 13th, + we were celebrating a friend’s 13th birthday.  True story.

I broke my nose that night. + while I probably would have dealt with a lot of insecurities [given that I'd just turned 13] anyway, this event has always marked a starting point for me.

I don’t want to be melodramatic, I just want to tell you a story.

After breaking my nose, we realized that I had “symmetry” problems in my face that were becoming more noticeable.  We went through old photos: was this something new?  had we just not noticed prior to this event? was this crooked-ness a result of my nose break?

Looking back, I feel ridiculous for making, what is in hindsight, a mountain from a molehill.  But I became extremely self conscious + insecure.  No one knew, because I could walk around with a huge smile on my face.  I wasn’t trying to outright trick the world: I myself wanted to believe that I loved who I was.

But I didn’t. 

I started getting CAT scans + MRIs.  My amazing parents brought me to specialists.  If something could be done, they wanted to do it.  Turns out I have what is called a hemivertebrae on my C3 [think of my C3 as a triangle, instead of a normal disc], causing my neck to not be straight + limiting my head rotation.  My head doesn’t balance on my neck, rather I’m in a constant state of balancing it.  Surgery? really out of the question.  Correcting the asymmetry in my face while I was still growing wasn’t a smart idea.  + any sort of neck surgery would most likely end in a fused neck + very little rotation.

The thought of surgery scared me.  Part of me was thankful that nothing could be done, but part of me was angry.

why? why, God?

I knew that my “problem” was small.  I wanted to not care.  But I was too selfish + self absorbed: I wanted to be normal.  I wanted to feel pretty.

I hated looking in the mirror.  I tried to figure out how to take photos where my face would look “normal”–what is normal anyway? My nose slipped back to a crooked state after having surgery, and I loathed video cameras,  I refused to wear my hair pulled back unless my neck was covered.

I tried to perfect everything in my life.  I tried to hide behind talents + portrayed self confidence.

It didn’t work.  My parents know I was emotional.  I was mean.  I was a teen times ten.

But I had to stay strong.  I didn’t want people to see how weak I was on the inside.

I clung to Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I wanted to believe it.  I really did.  I would cry + pray that He would help me believe those words.

wonderfully made. 

won-der-ful [adj]: fantastic: extraordinarily good or great

Me? extraordinarily great?

It took a while.  A long while.  I had to quit trying to “fix” everything on my own.

I had to let go.  

I let go of my idea of normal.  I let go of my idea of perfection.  I let go of what was beautiful in my mind.

+ I finally began to see that I was exactly who He created me to be.  I still had a long way to go, but I was me.  + He didn’t make a mistake.  I wasn’t an afterthought.  I wasn’t an oops.

I still struggle.  I still hate videos. [the day you see a video of me on here.... will be a big step!]  I lose sight of what is beautiful.  I still desire to be different, but I’m working on using that desire to focus on what’s really important.

So why did I just spill the emotions?  I want this blog to be a place where people are encouraged.  I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like.  I’m trying to find my groove.  + honestly? I struggle with believing my words are worth writing down.

But I have dreams.  I know He has dreams for me + you.  I want whatever “it” is that keeps us from encouraging each other? I want it to go away.  I want us to dream big together.

You are wonderful.

You were made to be perfectly you.

You are fantastic.

You are extraordinarily great. 

Love,