One thing I’ve learned–of the many things I’ve learned–in my 3-ish years of marriage is that I tend to act, give, forgive and love in ways that I would want in return.
Not rocket science: I know. But it is something easier said, than done.
When it came to planning Andy’s birthday, I made plans according to what I would want.
Fancy clothes.
Table for two.
Get out the tie.
Press the shirt.
Kacia takes a shower and actually puts on make up: check. check.
But as the day got closer, and Andy’s work load was increasing exponentially as deadlines approached, I realized that I had been going about plans for his birthday without really thinking about something that would bless him.
I was mostly thinking of me.
So that morning, I shifted gears.
I started at the back door, leaving notes and directions. Taping, placing, balancing: whatever the location required, so that he would see each sign along the way. I woke Harlow up from her nap, so we could scoot on out of the house before he got home.
He followed his instructions – whether it was reading a note from me, or leading him to the next step. So after knowing that he’d had a chance to relax and be alone, I came home to join him. No, I didn’t forget about Harlow. She was playing at Kyndal’s house–my saint-of-a-friend who, with Harlow, had 4, under 4 that evening.
We sat in our guest room: eating sushi, watching Faceoff, drinking sangria and stuffing our faces with cupcakes.
We are strange and don’t have a television in our living room. I sort of love it.
My phone was downstairs. I didn’t mention work or tasks or projects. Distractions were left at the door. The list that so often consumes my mind was, for a time, ignored completely.
And celebrating my best friend’s birthday couldn’t have been more perfect. Sure, it could have lasted longer–if we could have escaped from reality, the lists, the tasks, for just a few minutes more.
Sure.
But I got to spend it with him. And taking time to create a special evening–simple yes, but special too–that wasn’t just full of things I would want to do made it even more special. It forced me to look outside of myself.
And that is always a good thing.
Love this! I have learned similar lessons in my married years–and it’s been interesting to watch Geoff learn the same lessons! It’s also funny how the longer we’re married, the more we’ve gotten ok with accepting the other persons love even when it’s not how we would have hoped. So now he knows that I’m going to take the kids to buy balloons and cards and yell in his face in the morning and has come to appreciate it, and I know the week before my birthday he is going to text me from the mall “So, what should I buy?” Instead of finding the perfect surprise, and I’m ok with it :) But those times make times like THESE, when we celebrate just how the other person would have wanted, SO MUCH SWEETER.
Oh my goodness YES> I will still always be psycho-happy-first-thing-in-the-morning-Kacia. and He will want to sleep until noon :) hahaah – I love it!!
xoxo
Great lesson…even if its tough to learn sometimes (and even tougher to live out!) it sounds like he had the perfect birthday, which I’ve found usually just means being together. (Unless its my birthday, :) and then it means epic fanfare- Dustin knows he has his work cut out for him!)
Yes. I still need to EXPERIENCE one of these epic birthday parties of yours!!!!
one thing we’ve been doing lately is making sure that we spend time together as a family minus computers/ipads/phones and other distractions. it makes any time special!
so glad y’all had such a sweet evening together :)
yes! we are trying to do that more too!! Do you do an entire day? A few hours each day? I’d love suggestions!!
Love this so much – this is such a great lesson!
Yes – it is! And one I struggle to live out daily!!
What a sweet thing to do!
it was fun!
I did this one year for my hubby….we hid bills(money) all over the place, directing him to the TV, the ‘fridge, the doghouse, the mailbox, the car, etc. It was so fun. By the end, he had enough money to buy something he was wanting (can’t even remember what!). He loved it!
oh WHOA!! He probably would have loved the bills idea more!!! hahahah i love that!
happy belated birthday to Andy!!!
Thanks Margaret! I want him to have more birthdays, so I have an excuse to do this type of thing more often! But the truth is – I don’t need birthdays to do this sort of thing for him!
What a wonderful wife you are!! Love the beauty of your heart friend
I’m working on becoming a better wife!! My husband is extremely patient with me!!
Oh, I love this so much! What a sweet, sweet celebration!
Admission: I sort of loved it more than getting dressed up and going out!!
Seriously cute, spoonful of PB, always perfect.
He has a spoonful EVERY day when he gets home!! It doesn’t matter if dinner is on the table – pb on a spoon comes first!!
I love this! What a special way to celebrate the man you love. I hope your time was filled with memories and blessing friend.
I did love the simplicity – but next year? WE”RE GOING SKY DIVING. :) :) :) :)
miss your sweet face. a lot.
This is so cute girlie!!
What a great way to celebrate your hubby’s birthday! =)
May have to borrow your idea ;)
Much Love,
L
i like the way you love :) i try to be like this sometimes but a lot of times i’m rushed or can’t think of anything so just go with what i like. but that’s not really showing love…it’s just taking the easy way out. ouch! thank you for the inspiration!