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I told a friend yesterday,

This mom and wife stuff doesn’t just happen when you become one of those things, does it.

I knew this shift wouldn’t happen overnight–learning is a process and that process can be difficult.
It’s full of learning and pruning and changing and bending and giving and forgiving.

All of that.
I am learning.

I am one who sees the finish and wants to cross it now five minutes ago.
Patience has never been a strong suit of mine.

I am learning.

I am learning that some things take time–and other things, things we know, fade over time.
We let them.

We allow the ugly to brush away the beauty.
We let the joy inside us dim.
We forget how to smile, how to give, how to share.

We forget.
We need to learn again.

I believe that there are things like joy and love that don’t need to be taught.
There is just a piece of us that knows.

But over time, we teach ourselves that these traits are childlike, naive, or perhaps even silly.

We unlearn.
We name our wrinkles after tears instead of the aftermath of laughter.
We let manners go by the wayside: we’ve earned it, somehow.

I want to learn again.  I want these things back.
I want to learn from my daughter and the God that gave.

I am learning again what it feels like to have a joy that overflows.

Joy in the happy.
Joy in the pain.
Joy in the every day and the all day.

I am learning.
I am relearning.
I am changing.

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psst!  Happy Birthday to my amazing daddy and mother-in-law!! I wish more than anything we could be celebrating with them!  Bt I’m thankful for Skype and technology, so I can at least pretend!

Happy Birthday to the best daddy in the universe!

Happy Birthday to an amazing mother-in-law!

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